LAMBERT’S IN THE WARS – BUT WHO’S THE CULPRIT?
WHO’D have predicted actual fisticuffs between two of the country’s top figureheads over the biggest timetable clash of the year – namely, yesterday’s pre-Budget report and the CBI’s annual conference?
But over at the CBI’s bash at the Park Lane Hilton, director-general Richard Lambert was looking decidedly worse for wear with a nasty looking gash over the bridge of his nose – and the Opposition, as usual, wasted no time stoking the rumour mill.
“I heard that the Prime Minister shook the director-general’s hand earlier, but maybe he gave him a Glaswegian kiss instead,” quipped Tory leader David Cameron as he took to the stage.
But though the good-natured Lambert stood to smile and give a quick nod of acknowledgement to the audience, the nervous titter that ran around the assembly was proof they weren’t entirely unconvinced by the gag.
“Lambert fell, and that’s all there is to it,” the CBI assures me. Which, I think you’ll agree, puts us squarely in a quandary. Did he fall, or was he pushed?
FAT TAILED
It’s good to know that in these times of blind and terrified obedience, some firms are still defiantly ignoring the authorities’ pleas for everyone to keep things clear and jargon-free.
Case in point: “leading provider of ‘glass box’ risk management and portfolio construction analytics” FinAnalytica, which recently released a press release with the following spectacularly obscure header: “Asserting superior performance of its ‘standard’ fat-tailed risk measures and postmodern methodology during the continuing credit and liquidity crisis, FinAnalytica today released complimentary access to daily fat-tailed VaR and Expected Tail Loss (ETL) estimates for major broad equity markets.”
Confused, moi?
POUND BONANZA
If you’re hurrying to work at
While everyone else is suffering from the crunch, social networking site MeettheBoss.com has decided to hand out £50,000 – £50,000! – to passing business people in every financial capital of the world, of which £10,000 will be given out in pound coins in the Wharf between 6am and 9am this morning.
“Motivational support” is what the company calls it – although The Capitalist notes they’ve taken the precaution of only having a maximum of £2,000 on them at any one time, with the rest secured in a safe box.
Not taking any chances with these bonus-ridden banking types, then…
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